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Gay and proud, eh

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As I logged in on Facebook and scrolled through the Newsfeed, I saw my close friends, my not-so-close-friends and my don’t-know-at-all-friends posting the ‘news’ of their lives. It was very interesting to peek into their lives; with their consent but without their awareness. Their lives revolved around a wide range of subjects. While some talked on relatively serious topics like ‘Digital Equality’, others let us know their difficulty in getting up from bed on a chilly January morning only to pee (I consider the latter more serious though). No amount of public and personal ‘threats’ would deter some Facebookians from tagging you in the pictures of the damn flowers or dogs or even worse….their moronic faces. Won’t they ever understand that not everyone likes to witness hell?

Whatever the scenario, it suddenly dawned upon me that these people could publicly showcase their bravura only because they are backed up by their pride. Yes, that is the word – Pride!

Right from the days of kindergarten, lessons were taught (or rather imposed) regarding the need to abstain from pride. On the contrary, the action that makes others proud of us was highly desirable. Can anyone explain this seriously messed-up ideology?

Okay! By now you must be irritated by all the nonsense I made you read through. Hence, let me jump to the actual topic that I decided to write on. I don’t have a well-sculpted face; I am not blessed with a golden voice; I have not inherited an embezzled wealth and I don’t have a heart-melting love story (Yes! The time to think seriously about my life has come). However, there are instances taking place around me that make me pregnant with pride.

Just a few years back, the Supreme Court of India decriminalised homosexuality or, for that matter, any form of unnatural act. The sense of pride that ushered upon me cannot be alphabetically described. After all, we human beings are empowered to judge which action is natural and which is not. Reference can be drawn regarding industrialisation. Have we not accepted it solely because it is the product of pure nature?

Another instance was when I learnt that (after going through Wikipedia and the like) there was no mention of any homosexual stuff in our magnificent scriptures. Neither have I ever heard of anyone named Shikhandi (a transgender) or Brihannala (crossed-dressed Arjuna) nor have the wise elderlies ever told me about Ayyappa (the son born out of the ‘love’ between Vishnu and Shiva). Therefore these must be false tales weaved up by homosexuals.

Oh suddenly when I am typing this article on my Micromax P555 Canvas tablet, it dawned upon me that the whole concept of homosexuality is totally a western penetration inside our rich culture. India has been known worldwide to be a producer, practiser and populariser of exclusively indigenous items. We wear nothing but khadi clothes (however, skirts and trousers are permissible in some limited places like homes, schools, movies, parties, markets and the like). Even the use of foreign languages is minimal in our country. So how can we allow any such foreign concept to impose a cosmopolitan attitude on us?

My chest broadens with pride, especially on train journeys. It irritates the hell out of me to see those gruesome Hijiras asking for money. How dare they ask for MY money to fill THEIR stomach? After all those millennia of oppression and being treated like dirt, are they yet to understand that we do not feel for them? Giving alms to the ‘Sanyasi’ or a tip given to a waiter (who is already paid) is justified on some unexplainable ‘logical’ grounds. But does this mean we give money to these guys or girls or whatever (I am not even bothered to understand them)?

I am exuberantly proud of my manliness. Yes! I rejoice in manliness. The gym sessions are always a pleasure. Guys with big bulging figures have always been a treat to the eyes. It ‘just’ pisses me off when anybody remarks something against the dashing Beckham and I ‘just’ admire the physique of John Abraham! And you utter so much a word against the sizzling Varun Dhawan and you will set loose demons within me. But hey! I am not gay! I only admire men and their sweaty bodies and their heavenly smile and their rusty voice and……..

Induced from the above situation, I am so very proud that I accept only the binary-gendered concept. The categorisation has been intricately designed by the skilled patriarchal society. The work has been divided. However, I get confused when I see a male ‘Masterchef’ cooking scrumptious dishes or girls going mountaineering. But what the heck! Why take the trouble of understanding the zillion shades that exist between the two binaries (male and female)?

The idea of ‘sax’ (spelling it incorrectly out of shyness) has always been dormant in our land. We do not discuss ‘it’ in public nor do we practise ‘it’ often (the population of India is clearly an indicator). However, it is completely shocking to find that there is a section of people (the Asexuals) who have NO urge at all! Watching movies of two strangers copulating is perfectly fine but having no desire to be involved in the same is sheer absurdness. I am proud of my fellow males! They have ‘it’ with their wives, sometimes even without their consent (It’s okay! Marital rape is still legal here).

I am also proud of our apt stubbornness towards gay love. Love is divine and I accept it. But why do they need to bring it into the limelight? Can love be not exchanged behind closed doors and without making a hue and cry about it? Don’t non-gay people have their marriages with utmost silence?

I personally feel that the celebration of being queer through a Pride Walk is bizarre. Has anyone ever seen any straight person bragging about or displaying their love life in broad daylight? Certainly not. Well, of course, some special days should not be taken into consideration such as the Holy, Valentine’s Day or the Bihu. Moreover, we maintain a strict low profile during the festivities; the Pride Walk looks extravagant.

Did I forget to mention how proud I am when I see all the humane steps we have taken toward animals? We have organisations like the PETA and we have passed legislation like the Wildlife Protection Act of 1972. However, I see no urgency or even the necessity of getting rid of Section 377. I mean, come on, it is ‘their’ stuff. I am not gay, so why take the pain?

P.S.- People keep advising that I need to put on someone else’s shoe for better perception. Hence I put on YOURS. I feel it’s time you bought a new pair. It smells and I am not PROUD!

~Praks

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